While order & routines are all great and dandy, I love to have fun, go on adventures, and leave room for experiencing unexpected joys in life... and I can’t do that when every moment is perfectly planned and scheduled.
I would say that my most life-giving routine is one of highly structured times of the day as well as free play, and sometimes when the mood or opportunity strikes, I might just throw the whole thing out the window for something better that day!
We are busy. And while it's a nice sentiment to think that somehow I can adjust life in such a way where I no longer can say, “Oh yeah, I’m not busy..." that would just be impossible. My husband is a commercial developer & entrepreneur. I operate my jewelry business and hold positions in his companies as well. We have three very active, strong-willed girls (ages 7,4 & 2). Oh! And I homeschool my seven year-old part-time. People ask all the time, "How do you do it?" I don’t know. But, honestly, I don’t think anyone is “doing it”, whatever IT is. I get what people mean: how do I do all the things. The truth is, I don’t do all the things. There are so many things I don’t do or would like to do better. And I can’t and you can’t do EVERYTHING. So, we have to decide what is important. What really matters? And just do those things. I like to say, “We have to FOCUS, in order to FLOURISH."
I’m a dreamer. I’m romantic. I’m an idealist. I envision things in my mind on a daily basis. I have a running list of all the ideal things we could do. And then I have the list of all the things I SHOULD do (this is the list I work to let go of). And then there’s the realistic list that ends up on my planner the things that I CAN do.
This is an exercise I feel is really helpful. Write out these three categories (ideals, shoulds, can do's) and make lists underneath. At least my hopes and dreams and ideals are written down somewhere. From there, I can identify my lists of shoulds and realize where some of my anxiety comes from. And, finally, my realistic list of what I can do, the essential things. The things that really matter and the things that when I do them, will make room for the things that matter.
It's a lot of responsibility being a mom of three and owning and operating a business. And in the moment, everything else feels more important than yourself. You might have seen our hashtag #putyourselfonthelist. It came from a shift I began to experience while serving and giving to others in daily life. Where that is honorable, I can’t serve others very well if I’m not doing very well.
One of my goals for 2018 is to be more available for my family and for God to work through me, doing the things that He has put on my heart to do. If I’m stressed out, burned out, exhausted, and distracted, I’m not available.
I’m a health nut. I’ve been know to sprout things -- grow things for richer nutritional value. The theory is -- if you take steps to sprouting grains, beans, or a nut, it's nutrients become bio-available. So, I need to take the essential steps to be more “bio-available” (available to give life) to those around me during my day.
One of the elements to my morning routine is a bit of self care I have deemed "my self shelf." I realized that if I want to take care of myself, I’m going to need to have things where I can see them. I don’t have many moments on my own, so, I have to create them. It doesn't take me a long time to getting ready in the morning, but I try to hold fast to making use of the things on my "self shelf" in the morning and at night. My bathroom is super tiny and there isn't a double vanity, but! I made space for this shelf. Work with what you've got, right?
On my shelf is...
- My favorite lotion from Saje. The carrot one or the Lavender & Friends are my favorites. It smells amazing. I just put it on my arms and taking the fifteen seconds to be kind to my skin and the essential oils makes me feel good. And then, I smell good so that’s a win! : )
- My Elate powder. The packaging from this makeup company is so beautiful.
- A plant. Because it’s a living thing that I get to look at everyday. Any chance I have to bring the outdoors in, I do it.
- An essential oils diffuser. It's tiny. You can find it here. And I put my favorite oil (also from Saje) in it. It makes my bathroom smell like a spa.
- A scented bar of soap that I don’t use, but makes my bathroom smell good even when the diffuser isn’t on.
- My trinket dish where my wedding rings sit & the pieces of jewelry I’m wearing on a regular basis. You might be surprised to discover that even though I’m a jewelry designer, I don’t change my jewelry everyday. I select a necklace that is really significant to me in that season. Right now I’m wearing the Liv Necklace. And I normally have two pairs of earrings in the dish so I can change up my look, right now those pieces are the Clair de Lune & the Dellen in rose gold. I’m also wearing an Message in a Bottle bracelet with “nourish” inscribed on it (my word for the year), but I never take it off... so it doesn’t ever sit cozy in the dish with the other pieces : )
It's not ABOUT the routine. Even though I’ve developed some solid habits (which take time!), there are mornings where I don’t do any of it. I give myself the grace to sleep in if I need it or stay in bed to read a good book. I have a sense that sometimes I need to throw caution to the wind and recharge my batteries in a different way. I hope you can, too.